Happy Birthday

Happy 16th Birthday Sarah Bae!

Alright, I did the 8 people thingy again, but then I guess I didn't..or something because I cant see it! :( So I'm just going to do it again! But I'm only going to do 5..because it takes a long time! :( Haha I don't even know if anyone reads these blogspot things for anybody any more, but still...it's fun :)

1) We have so many memories and we go waaaay back! I was stuck with you since I was born! Haha well, I don't even know what to say to you since we talk every day and everything, so this is just a little shoutout to say haaay! :o) M&Kforeverrrrrr
2) Seventh grade..is when we think we met each other. In our first period science class. But we're definitely wrong. Since we were like five years old, we lived in Glendale together (random, right?!) and then in the second grade, we both moved to Cypress! It's like God planned our fates like this but it's a little strange how we never talked back then. Anyway, when we moved to Cypress, we both had the same exact piano teacher, so we saw each other at recitals and stuff, but still never "knew" each other. Haha I think our background stories of each other are the most hilarious. Through literal blood, sweat, and tears, you have always been there for me and care for me and understand me. We already established this, but it's funny how we never really hang out, we play with different friends, but still, we have this connection that we are able to share and through that, we are still like the bestest of friends. I can confide in you for anything and vice versa, which I am so thankful for. We know each and every detail about each other's lives, but we never even have to actually hang out, you know? Our friendship is a big strange, but I cherish it so much.
3) You are the crybaby ever but I love you for that HAHA :). We don't go to the same school, but we still manage to keep in touch and keep each other updated on our lives. It's amazing how close we got in such a short amount of time. I mean, we knew each other, but we were mere acquantances, so it almost felt like a rush! But still, you always make me laugh with your over dramatic stories and complaints and..tears :). It's okay though. You and Elmo are the cutest people alive-you guys are like a married couple hahaha cooking/baking together and arguing about how much batter to scrape out. I know you watch out for him and stuff, but stop talking to him so much! Seriously every time I meet you or talk to you, you're talking to him too -_-. Lol anyway, you are also one of my closest friends and people that I can trust in and go to for anything. So thankss :)
4) You! Not that you're my number four or anything because this thing does not have any specific order...I'm so thankful to have someone like you because you're so patient with me! I know I always say that I hate you and that you're annoying and stuff, but I don't..and you're not (well, only sometimes hehe). You are able to bring me laughter and smiles even on the toughest of days and when I'm tired or sad or whatever! Even if it's at night, I feel safe when I'm with you (even though it's REALLY scary when you scare me! >:[ ) and I love how you are never really sad or angry for no reason. You have such a happy and bright personality and that's what I love about you :). Again, thank you for being so understanding and patient with me, especially this year, and helping me get through hard times. Even though you call me a baby and say that I'm a brat and make fun of me for being gullible, you're still able to make me laugh. I feel bad sometimes that I'm so mean to you, but I hope that I could be helpful to you too, like you are to me, slave<3
5) Hey neighbor! Hahaha we can't even walk to school together anymore because you have no zero period >:[ but that's okay, because I know we're still doggy/jooeen status! You're like two years older than me, but you help me out so much (for example, today at the library HAHAHAHA!!!). But it's not even for only homework and school, it's for everything else too. I'm also very very very mean to you and never feed you, but don't worry! I'll stop studying one day and take the time to actually buy you food or walk you home, like you always ask me to..but I never do x). Thank you for being such an amazing friend that can make me laugh and enjoy my stressful, busy days.

Haha..today at church Sarah made a cake for Sarah, so we were all eating it after service. Except I don't really like cake..so I just had some nibbles of it. It was really pretyt though! Anyway, we talked about so many things! :o

Also, I updated my birthday, which I will maybe talk about later. Alright goodbye! :)

Perspectives

Wow. I haven't updated in a whiiile! I don't even know if anyone uses this any more haha.

I got to do a lot of thinking at YB camp this year. I don't know why, how, and when, but I came home realizing many things. There are so many different types of people. With different perspectives/views on things. Learning to respect everyone's wishes (no matter how bizarre they are!) is very important..I think. Faults. Everyone has them. Sometimes I just need to stop pinpointing other people's faults and focus on fixing mine. Focus. I need to focus a lot. Become a hermit during Junior year and then come out a year later and have everyone saying "Hey, where have you been?" hehe :). Focus on school/grades, SATI&IIs, volunteer, tennis/piano. Thazz it! My social life will be dormant for now, and will pick up sooner or later because I can do without...just for a year :D FUTURE. Out of state. Please. Haha I'm kind of getting realllly sick of so-cal/suburban area! :(( I don't want to go to a UC for college. A good private school will be nice :) but whatever I have to focus first! I also realized I'm really indecisive..on certain things. I make one decision and then I want something else. I wish I made the right choices at the right times instead of the other way around. Working at the hospital made me realize this today! Poor little boy :(. I have SO much studying to do-no joke. CHUNGS SAT: Vocab cumulative 1-4; Week 7; Grammar 1-22; Essay (x2). SCHOOL: Chapter 13 in LAW; History essay; In Cold Blood Questions; Last half of rhetoric. < < <>

Ugh. Confrontations are so hard. Especially when you have no idea what the other peson is going to say. Maybe you will get the guts to say everything you wanted to say to them all along. But then again, you might chicken out and they only get to say what they want to say. Maybe you don't get to say what you want to say because you end up feeling bad for the other person. Maybe...

I'm really unsure about everything. You confuse me every time I see you. I don't hate you. I don't love you. Maybe that's the problem. I have no idea how I should feel about you. You make me indecisive. You make me nostalgic. You make me wonder. You make me rack my brain until I pull my hair out! You make me cry. You make me laugh. You're my getaway when I feel helpless. But even still, I don't think you should be one to judge. So stop, please.

I love you to death, but you have to know your boundaries...

Name: Michelle
Date: 8/14/2009
Colorgenics Number: 46325107

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It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

!! It's late and I'm going to continue later because I have so much more to say! :) Goodnight!

Summer!

Pleaseeeee come quickly! Wow I cannot wait til summer... :(
Well, I haven't updated for a whiiiile. And tenth grade has gone by so fast wow. And finally, that means summer's coming up!! :) Okay so for now, I just have a couple short shout-outs hehe.

1) We've been through soooo much together. Wow. It's funny how I used to hate you so much, but now, you're the first person I go to for anything. There are so many memories that we created together and I wanted to say thank you. You've made such an impact on my life that nobody else could evereverEVER! replace or make. Whenever I'm confused, or sad, or need to vent or whatever, you're always there to listen to my nonstop talking :). I can depend on you for anything and hopefully the same for you. We've grown so much through all the tears, laughters, fights, smiles, arguments, moments we shared together and I will never forget any of them. So yeah, you already know how much i lava you :).
2) Oh man, since seventh grade Elamparo, we were friends. I remember when we found out that we met before but then we didn’t know each other and we were like ‘hey! You followed me everywhere!’ like seriously since when we were like 3, we met like 10 times but never knew..lol. I am able to talk to you about anything and even though we don’t really hang out a lot—we never really did—we always just click when we start talking. We seem like we’re best friends, but we hang out with different people and stuff. Lol, but I really want to say that I’m glad that we met and I am especially glad that we can really understand each other. I can always count on you for anything—I mean anything! We have never fought before through the four years that I’ve actually known you and that, I think is really something amazing. Your birthday present I gave you this year really came from my heart and I want you to know that I will always there for you, care for you, and of course be your friend. I know that our continuous talks and stuff will bring us even closer throughout our lives. We are both very understanding people and I will never forget our deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep talks that we had just sitting under the tree or on a bench or at the park swinging or at your house or at my house or at the library omg WHEREVER just talking about whatever crossed our mind. Now thanks to school, tennis or whatever, we tend to hang out a little bit more each year. Me gusta! Let’s picnic, baby! :)
3) SISTER. Hahaha we call each other that, but we really do feel sisterly a lot! Lol, we have NO classes together, so I reallyreallyreally hope that we do next year. We need to complete all our sisterly acts! That list we made for summer and we only did like three things :( Like we rarely talk any more compared to last year when we used to go over to each other's houses literally everyday and have our little GT's and stuff. But we both got busy this year with our own thaangs and didn't have that much extra time. Haha but I really hope that our bond grows and blossoms~ Summer tim eto plaaaay! :)
4) You and me..we always joke around about the silliest things, but then when we really talk, we can get pretty serious. I talked to you about almost all of my problems and stuff and so do you, and even though we only have two classes together, we got so much closer this year, and I’m really thankful for that. We have our little secret hand shake that is so funny when you do it. Haha well, thanks for everything this year and for the years to come! ;)
5) YOU! My one and only doggy :)Hahaha walking to and from home with you is always fun. I mean, I walk even though I can get a ride from my mom! Even though I’m very mean to my doggy and I rarely feed it, know that I’m always kidding in those mean moments. You have always been a good friend, sacrificing your time to wait for me even though I made you get in trouble so many times. I’m so glad that I have someone to just call when I’m bored and even though I always bother you, you take it hehe :) Thank you so much for everything. We need to do our bucket list, man! (Lol, btw…I have a Christmas card that I wrote to you, but I’m too embarrassed to give it to you now since it would be freaking late HAHA. Sooo, I’ll give it to you next Christmas or something x) )
6) Where do I begin with you? We were so close. Like best friends. But then we went through a huge obstacle that just tested our friendship. I know that we are both just learning to forgive and forget, but you’ve just changed so much along the way, so I don’t know how to talk to you any more. I don’t know if you realized or not, but I can’t even be my true self around you any more. All those times we spent just seemed to disappear, and I don’t know where they went. It’s like I don’t even know me anymore. You seem entirely different to me, and I’m so sad for that. Seriously, I don’t know what you want from me, but you use me just for when you need me. Not for a friend. I’m kind of getting tired of it. You’re always complaining to me and stuff and I have no idea how to respond to that because you never come to me for anything else…어.쩌.라.고. -_-

Wow, each any every one of these people has made such an impact on my life and I loved every moment I spent with them. :) To the first five: thanks for putting up with me hahaha. I love you guys <3

Putting it all behind

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves expenses of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits." -Hannah More

For sure. I've decided to just forget about everything that happened. Forgive and forget. And I'm going to forget about it. I'm sorry...

Change.

This single little word means so much. Things do not change. We change. :)

Procrastination

Two words: Financial Institutions. Lol I procrastinated like no other on this project and I basically did it all today! I should work on this stupid habit for my own benefit :(. Oh, I had an epiphany! I realized that without my phone, I can concentrate more. I mean yes, it's very frustrating when I reallyreally need to use a phone or need to talk someone or even when I'm bored, but academic wise, I am able to crack down on my homework better than I did when I had a phone to distract me 24/7. At school, I'm not texting in class and at home it's not near me, so I don't have to worry about getting calls from people. And plus, if someone really needs to talk to me or vice versa, I just use my house phone. I think I'm not getting my phone back til like the end of the quarter -_- but still, I can get good grades and impress my mom and what not by then so yay? :) Aha anyway, the "situation" is not improving I guess. I don't know. I guess we both just need some time to think/cool down? It's not like I'm denying anything. I know it's mostly my fault. So I guess I'm going to have to give this whole thing some time. And the OTHER thing. I don't even care any more because I don't care about *Olga (LOL) anymore. Soooo, I'm going to stop wasting my time on you. Yay :) Hmm what else..OH! March 14, 2009 is going to be one bangin' day ;) I'm so excited cause I'm going to play from like 6am to nightnight that day with my favorite peepsss :) Whoo! Haha so today, Kathleen and Jordan kind of randomly bought me food so I was happy for a little hehe. But I'm still sick :(. Okay I have to do the Business Project now..poop.

*name changed :)

..

"jackie"...hmm i see..

STFUI am so tired of your sh!t. Please, leave me alone..
I have nothing to say to eveyrthing right now. Pissing me off.

Sick ):

Bleh..I couldn't even go to church or even walk around the house today because I was so sick :(. DANGIT..I think I completely jinxed myself cause the other day, I told someone that I liked being sick cause my voice sounds funny..-__- And now, I'm sick, and I don't like it lol. Today was a really boring and bad day for me because of this. I have momsal all over from my head to my little toes :(. Haha I did not go out of the house even once today. All I did today was read and turn in my essay to turnitin.com without revising lol. AND. Heffybah called earlier and we talked about our problem.."/ I hope everything gets clear and good status! I'm honestly really scared for the outcome of this. :(. This blog entry is way too sad! Hahaha I will try to make it happy with pictures! :)
Sunflowers; Peanut M&M's, ma faveee; Book!; Piano; VTennis Girls<3; Elephant, my favorite animal :)

Yay, hahaha that made me kind of happy. It was fun hehe.

Note to John: I can't comment on your thingy. Helpme!a;dljfajsdf :(